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10 Things I Will Never do in Ireland

November 11, 2008

Drink a pint of Guinness: Sorry all you Guinness lovers. I have tried it many times but just can’t stomach the black stuff – although my husband loves it. Give me a Smithwick’s any day.

Cross Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge: Okay, I admit I am chicken. I trekked the whole way to the bridge and absolutely could not set foot on it. I watched my husband be braver than me and I took photos to prove that he did it. Do you think I can Photo Shop my head onto his body? Would anyone believe it?

Climb to the top of Skellig Michael: Yet another place someone without a head for heights cannot do. All the photos look fantastic and I applaud the hearty souls who have made the pilgrimage. Do you think height aversion therapy would help?

Run the Dublin Marathon: I will let the younger, thinner, fitter folks do this one. Besides, I don’t like crowds.

Go for a walk in the countryside at night without a flashlight: I value my life!

Hike to the top of Carrauntuohill: You have to be kidding. I barely made it to the top of Knocknarea and my husband was speechless with amazement for a week. That will have to suffice. (Great views though.)

Camp out in a tent: My idea of camping out is staying at a really bad B&B with no en suite bathroom.

Ride a horse on the beach: I rode a horse through the Gap of Dunloe once and that cured me. A cowgirl, I’m not.

Eat black pudding: Yuck! If you knew what was in it, you probably wouldn’t either.

Kiss the Blarney Stone: Oh, come on. Does anyone believe that silly legend? Evidently! Hoards of tourists climb up hundreds of tiny spiral steps, through claustrophobic passageways to the top of a tower to stand in line, do some gymnastics, hang upside down and kiss a stone that hundreds of others have just kissed. Lysol anyone?

Michele Erdvig
www.IrelandYes.com

10 Comments leave one →
  1. November 11, 2008 8:11 AM

    corey says…

    This is a good one. I’ve got a few of my own to add…

    I won’t party all night in Temple Bar…there are so many other great spots in Dublin for an evening out without so many out-of-towners.

    I won’t drive anything bigger than a standard size car…I’m enough of a hazard driving a compact.

    I won’t ask a tourist where to find the best traditional music.

    I won’t ask for a side of potatoes…there’s a minimum two potatoes per entree already built in.

    …Anybody else have their own to add???

  2. November 11, 2008 8:40 AM

    i am still laughing. great list!!

  3. Keith permalink
    November 11, 2008 9:14 AM

    You won’t find me driving on the left. That’s why I stay with Liam, he does the driving for me.

    I won’t wear kilt.

    I won’t take my laptop.

  4. Liam permalink
    November 11, 2008 9:43 AM

    I won’t ever compete in the Rose of Tralee. I think my hairy legs would disqualify me!

    I won’t ever drink my Smithwicks through a straw…..You get really, really drunk that way……actually I think I was quite drunk when I started to use the straw….

    I will never…ever…ever…again drink two packages of FIBOGEL….and then go on a 3 hour hike in the Commeragh Mountain’s…..Guess what!…..no porta johns….or porta Jacks anywhere for miles….

    I will never get too close to the Rooster at the Loop Head Cottage in Bunratty Folk park……….HE HATES ME!!!!!!

    and last but not least……I will never take the short cut through my cousin’s field after he has spread it with Pig Slurry…….No matter how hard you try to out run the fumes,….take it from me, it can not be done….

  5. November 11, 2008 10:18 PM

    Liam; you expected facilities out there? Really! This IS Ireland. lol!

    I can only in all my years here remember seeing two “Johnny on the spots”; one at Murvagh Beach and one at a remote beach near Carrick.

  6. greenstar permalink
    November 12, 2008 1:22 AM

    I heard black pudding wasn’t the kind made by Jell-O, but I had no idea.

  7. November 13, 2008 1:21 AM

    Michele,

    Thanks for the belly laugh. I would have to agree with you on Guiness & the Carrick-a-Rede bridge. I have never understood the draw of the Blarney stone

    as for my nevers:

    I will never, please God, fly into or out of Dublin Airport

    I will never drive in Dublin

    I will never visit the Bushmill distillery nor sample even a drop of Bushmills. Jameson is the only whiskey, as far as I am concerned.

    After my first trip, I vowed to never stay at a B&B adorned with psycho cartoon characters on the exterior of the Garage.

    I will not eat BBQ sandwiches from the Statoil outside of Monasterevin.

    I will not expect a salad with any meal, lots of potatoes but no salads.

    I will never, again, drive from the tip of Co. Wexford to Galway in one day. One very long day. “Green Blur” doesn’t begin to describe it!

    Black pudding & Haggis, they rate equally on my “gross Foods” meter. The mere thought makes me turn green.

    Slan Beo, Bit

  8. Mizz Lizz permalink
    November 14, 2008 12:57 AM

    Never take a rental care that does not have the manual.
    Never, Never accept the “last rental car” that had been in a wreck and no longer had a jack (car lift)
    Never again figure the rental car you had them rent will be at the airport you are flying into
    Never not check the tread on the tyres as you must pay for them if they go flat
    Never bring printed US Dollars before 2004-even the bank would not take them
    Never go out into the country without food or water as you may have a flat on Sunday and be stuck till Mon morn…it’s a problem I found.
    Never expect the Galic sections to understand all your American English–point on the menu along with telling them
    Never rent a cell phone before you go..bring a sims card and rent one there.
    Never assume vouchers will be accepted at all places…check IN ADVANCE during the busy seasons…you may get to sleep again with your car and it’s flat tyre….
    Never wait till late in the day to make a B & B reservation
    Just a few of the ‘fuin adventuires’ that make for a terrific journal…
    I will be leaving to return in a couple days…

  9. November 14, 2008 2:07 AM

    Mizz Lizz – sounds like you described rental car hell. I’ve been pretty lucky with my car rental experiences. Glad to know the experience didn’t taint things so much so that you wouldn’t return. Way to make the best of it. Have a GREAT trip.

    Corey

  10. JOANNE permalink
    December 16, 2008 6:16 PM

    HI, I HAVE TO SAY, I AM STILL LAUGHING. MY LAST TRIP WAS GREAT. WE USED THE CAR TRAWLER IN SHANNON AIRPORT. THEY WERE GREAT. I WOULD RECCAMEND A GPS!! WE DROVE (OVER SEVERAL DAYS) FROM DINGLE TO GALWAY, DONEGAL INTO NORTHERN IRELAND AND ON TO DUBLIN. ONLY ONCE WHILE GOING FROM GALWAY TO DONEGAL ,THERE WAS A ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY SO WE HAD TO TAKE , WHAT WE CALL HERE IN USA, BACKROADS. GOOD THING WE HAD GPS.. LOL BUT IT WAS FUN. AND BEING AN IRISH AMERICAN , I COULD NOT STOP DRINKING THE GUINNESS OVER THERE. TASTE SO MUCH BETTER. BLOOD PUDDING,,,NO,NO,NO, WHAT IS THAT???
    BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IRELAND IS THE BEST.

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